It is again a hot day in Chicago i am sure many people heard about the marathon where it was so hot that they had to have a lot of cool mist zones and many many cool buses to keep runners alive...after the 18th mile everyone was asked to walk and not run. And the unlucky and very very sorry news of a young runner dying on the run.
Any way i am not a runner and i appreciate people who can run. I can walk and i can barely run after my kids to catch them but thats about it. I am not an active mom who can play tag for a long time with their kids and their friends. I was noticing my my girl friend's husband training for this marathon. And i saw him loosing weight and looking very flexible too. And his conversations about "How to eat more calories"! !Agreed Dan is a tall and slim guy to begin with and after the training he is leaner and looks younger too. And i was so tempted to get trained.
Last year i had gone to a podiatrist and a orthopedic doctor to see if i can get something corrected inside and get trained but to my surprise i was told i have planter Facitis. Oh lala....Here i am trying to fix my calf muscle and my lower bones and there i am told that i have this????
I remember my determination to take whatever that came my way to get through those 6 months. I went everywhere on crutches and then what? I had lost the entire summer and i was so weak with all the lost muscles that i practically learn t to walk in the water. I went to the pool in the month of October and i went swimsuit shopping in fall. Took all 60 sessions of PT, changed the entire line of shoes(most expensive effect of foot problem). I have been still trying to replace all the matching for all different types of clothes that I have. I can't wear normal shoes that i wear with my dress pants. I have to wear different kinds of shoes with the Indian outfits for winter and very different kind of footwear for the summer time. SO i must have two sets of collection for each season. one that will go with western clothes and one that will go with Indian clothes. If i need 5 pairs for each time the math is simple i need bare minimum 20 pairs at any given time. And then the foot and the ache in the joints. i think i am the only person which gets bothered by Nike and Addidas. I have to look for something form Asics and New balance, and so many other expensive brands. I miss my time when i could wear any kind of footwear and play a game of badminton!
I am still going through the effect of a bad summer i still can't do much of Cardio in any Gym and i still can't do power classes. So net resultis that what ever i eat i can't burn and then i have become more interested in more things to eat.
"Oh Oh i am getting into a topic where i will be writing for rest of the life".
But with the bad foot i think our body must switch off from eating or we must start a disliking for anything to eat. Well i think i have given my foot enough time to heal and now i think i must forget about it and put it to work. And this is how came a membership in a Y! I have committed to just focus on my Pranayam and my Yoga a home and get to Y early in the morning to workout with more people around me!
When i try to workout at home i have to be quiet and slow as otherwise i will be waking up the kids which might end all my plans of any kind of workout. But when i am out with other people i get charged and feel the energy. I see many younger girls working out very hard and i get motivated. SO Y here i come ! and Yoga and Pranayam etc i have to wait for my 10 yr old to come and join me in the afternoon.
"So dear, foot here is the plan i am going to forget you and work you out. Here is the plan and i am sure by the time i am at Y you will be ready to co-operate".
Monday, October 8, 2007
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Joy of stolen moments
My weekends are a whirl, i think this is what it is for most of us. I sat under the young oak tree in the open area of Chinmaya Mission Chicago looking at people parking in and out of the parking lot. It is a fairly big place for a center for vedantic studies. I think that is the ideal place for me to sit and meditate. As as summer stole a few weekends from fall in Chicago i am delighted. It is my third Sunday when i can spread my Yoga mat and dress in my latest salwar-kameez to start my meditation. I enjoy the luxury of sitting under a tree with no sound other than wind and birds. Sometime i will hear someone getting into the car or coming out. Actually the movement f people in the parking lot is the beginning of my meditation. I watch them and slowly focus on my breath and today i didn't realize when did i close my eyes. Usually my lotus position gives me cramps but today i didn't feel anything it was a nice short time with myself and my thoughts. I think it was because i had just finished my Pranayam. When i have more time than just to what I want to do I feel i am winning.
Though i am always in a hurry to do things but today those extra fifteen minute were a delight. Is it my meditation or the thought that i could meditate out in open that made me happy? Or just the fact that i stole some time for myself. I know it won't be too long before I will be running like a runner to go away form the spot that gave me so much happiness today. How easy it is to be happy and how a short time of happiness gives so much joy for rest of the day, week or years.
I have so many such instances form my life when i was happy, the hugs that my mom gave me after i saw her after a year, two year or a long time. I still feel her warmth and i still feel her embrace. Joy is spread everywhere and it is on us how do we collect it and how do we keep it within us , how we can spread it for people around us.
I think i am going to look for this joy everywhere. I am going to be aware of it's existence everywhere. As i know all i have to do is stretch my hands and gather it in my fist.
Though i am always in a hurry to do things but today those extra fifteen minute were a delight. Is it my meditation or the thought that i could meditate out in open that made me happy? Or just the fact that i stole some time for myself. I know it won't be too long before I will be running like a runner to go away form the spot that gave me so much happiness today. How easy it is to be happy and how a short time of happiness gives so much joy for rest of the day, week or years.
I have so many such instances form my life when i was happy, the hugs that my mom gave me after i saw her after a year, two year or a long time. I still feel her warmth and i still feel her embrace. Joy is spread everywhere and it is on us how do we collect it and how do we keep it within us , how we can spread it for people around us.
I think i am going to look for this joy everywhere. I am going to be aware of it's existence everywhere. As i know all i have to do is stretch my hands and gather it in my fist.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
My Daily walks
It's been almost a month since i have come back form India. My goal currently is to at least the weight that i gained during this trip. So i partnered with my daughter's school's crossing guard. I think i am lucky to have someone love my daughter so much that she loves me too. We use to walk on the sidewalk around the school, but gradually we found places which were less boring. Then one day we stumbled on a trail which is almost 2 miles and we can see fantastic wildlife. Not only that it has a creek next to it. We have been noticing squirrels and chipmunks working hard ot get ready for winter.
I have always been very curious about the vegetation wherever i have been. So when i am in this area i keep noticing the kind of leaves the trees have or the kind of wild flowers bloom at different times. I have been noticing the sound of a stone falling down once in a while, and i see many round fruits on and around the trail. They are usually round and black form inside. i am sure when they fall down it opens up and that is the nut squirrels wait for.
But today i found a very different fruit fallen on the ground. It is light green in color,not round but if you have seen custard-apple it looks like that in shape and has nodes on the surface, But the minute details on the skin is something like a human brain. So i picked it up and i brushed it clean and now i am waiting to open it up, just to see how it looks from inside!
So till the time i get a chance to open it i will have to wait to post the details!
I have always been very curious about the vegetation wherever i have been. So when i am in this area i keep noticing the kind of leaves the trees have or the kind of wild flowers bloom at different times. I have been noticing the sound of a stone falling down once in a while, and i see many round fruits on and around the trail. They are usually round and black form inside. i am sure when they fall down it opens up and that is the nut squirrels wait for.
But today i found a very different fruit fallen on the ground. It is light green in color,not round but if you have seen custard-apple it looks like that in shape and has nodes on the surface, But the minute details on the skin is something like a human brain. So i picked it up and i brushed it clean and now i am waiting to open it up, just to see how it looks from inside!
So till the time i get a chance to open it i will have to wait to post the details!
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
सुबह
हर सुबह और हर शाम में ये ही सोचती हूँ कि शायद अगला पहर अच्छा होगा
हर किसी से बात करती हूँ तो सोचती हूँ कि शायद ये मेरा दोस्त होगा
हर घंटी से उम्मीद रखती हूँ कि ये ही वह संदेशा हैं जो मुझे मेरी मंज़िल बताये गा
हर पंछी से पुचाती हूँ हर झोके को खोजती हूँ मन बस मचल जाता अहं और घर को तलाशने लगता हैं
त्रिशंकु के रिश्तेदार से लगते हैं , कभी यहाँ तो कभी वहा मंज़र को मानने लगते हैं।
दीप्ति
हर किसी से बात करती हूँ तो सोचती हूँ कि शायद ये मेरा दोस्त होगा
हर घंटी से उम्मीद रखती हूँ कि ये ही वह संदेशा हैं जो मुझे मेरी मंज़िल बताये गा
हर पंछी से पुचाती हूँ हर झोके को खोजती हूँ मन बस मचल जाता अहं और घर को तलाशने लगता हैं
त्रिशंकु के रिश्तेदार से लगते हैं , कभी यहाँ तो कभी वहा मंज़र को मानने लगते हैं।
दीप्ति
Monday, October 1, 2007
Barsat
कल रात बारिश हुई थी
हर पत्ता नहा रहा था पर में सो रही थी।
आकाश से पानी बरस रह था और मुझे मनो कोई जगह रहा था
हर पल ये ही लग रह था कि जग कर बारिश को देखू और नींद को भुला दु
खूब शायरी आ रही थी पर फिर नींद ने घेर लिया और बाकी बारिश नींद में ही देखी ।
सुबह जब घड़ी ने जगाया फिर बहार को निहारना याद आया ।
चलो आंख खुल तो आलस तो नही आया बस्स बहार को देखना याद आया.
हर पत्ता नहा रहा था पर में सो रही थी।
आकाश से पानी बरस रह था और मुझे मनो कोई जगह रहा था
हर पल ये ही लग रह था कि जग कर बारिश को देखू और नींद को भुला दु
खूब शायरी आ रही थी पर फिर नींद ने घेर लिया और बाकी बारिश नींद में ही देखी ।
सुबह जब घड़ी ने जगाया फिर बहार को निहारना याद आया ।
चलो आंख खुल तो आलस तो नही आया बस्स बहार को देखना याद आया.
Life in general
Yesterday i was chatting with a few new moms in my daughters Sunday school. I was with a few young moms who were sitting outside the school taking care of their younger kids. We started talking about kids and raising them in US without any help as most of out Indian counterparts get in India. Many of us have just been to India and we know the kind of life most of the middle class working women have there and as we live the middle class working women life here we had a reason to compare.
A doc mom who is setting up a new clinic had her own worries as now she will be working long hours and no day care would be open that long to take care of the kids.
I was wondering why don't we have late night...night cares. won't it make it working moms life a bit easier. when many jobs are offered where a person is required to work till late then how come no one thinks about having a late night child care facility. If it was India i would leave my kids with my mom or mom-in-law without even thinking about it twice as i know kids are going to bed by 9. But as we do not have any such support system many of us can't do jobs in a professional way as we are expected.
I was aware of everyone's pains and problems but this made me think. I wonder why don't we make groups where we can help each other when we really really have to go out for something important and can't take our kids out with us. Or have night time child care. i think this is something we must discuss next time i meet these moms.
i noticed another thing with the moms. Most of these moms are highly educated and and come form a good background. After coming here and getting stuck in the rut of raising kids and doing all the work themselves, they give up on their appearance. They all have good outfits and have very good jewelry to go with those out-fits, but lack of time and perhaps apprication form their spouses they lose interest in dressing up.
I think this is what i do. Many times i feel i am nobody and no one knows me so "Who cares?"
Well i think people do care. Not only outsider but also our own husbands and our kids care about how their mom looks!
I must now agree that i do not like to do house chores everyday. I feel it is a wastage of time to do mundane jobs to clean and cook. But when i go to my kids room before i go to bed i think it is all worth it. I might have felt very different if my husband was a stereotype Indian Man. thank God i have a husband who helps me equally. Who supports me to do what ever i want to do outside by staying home with the baby. He compliments me and suggests me very subtly if something doesn't go on me for some occasion.
What do we need i think it becomes easier to live in a strange,new land with a very few acquaintances; if your spouse is supportive and loving.
Isn't it easy to live a happy life with just a few words and a bit of help and just a bit of romance on a daily basis.
A doc mom who is setting up a new clinic had her own worries as now she will be working long hours and no day care would be open that long to take care of the kids.
I was wondering why don't we have late night...night cares. won't it make it working moms life a bit easier. when many jobs are offered where a person is required to work till late then how come no one thinks about having a late night child care facility. If it was India i would leave my kids with my mom or mom-in-law without even thinking about it twice as i know kids are going to bed by 9. But as we do not have any such support system many of us can't do jobs in a professional way as we are expected.
I was aware of everyone's pains and problems but this made me think. I wonder why don't we make groups where we can help each other when we really really have to go out for something important and can't take our kids out with us. Or have night time child care. i think this is something we must discuss next time i meet these moms.
i noticed another thing with the moms. Most of these moms are highly educated and and come form a good background. After coming here and getting stuck in the rut of raising kids and doing all the work themselves, they give up on their appearance. They all have good outfits and have very good jewelry to go with those out-fits, but lack of time and perhaps apprication form their spouses they lose interest in dressing up.
I think this is what i do. Many times i feel i am nobody and no one knows me so "Who cares?"
Well i think people do care. Not only outsider but also our own husbands and our kids care about how their mom looks!
I must now agree that i do not like to do house chores everyday. I feel it is a wastage of time to do mundane jobs to clean and cook. But when i go to my kids room before i go to bed i think it is all worth it. I might have felt very different if my husband was a stereotype Indian Man. thank God i have a husband who helps me equally. Who supports me to do what ever i want to do outside by staying home with the baby. He compliments me and suggests me very subtly if something doesn't go on me for some occasion.
What do we need i think it becomes easier to live in a strange,new land with a very few acquaintances; if your spouse is supportive and loving.
Isn't it easy to live a happy life with just a few words and a bit of help and just a bit of romance on a daily basis.
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